The Chili cook-off of DOOM
by itreybones
Summary: due to a recent outbreak of low morale, so Tatsumi decided that a chili cook-off is need. Can his dream of a happy company really come true?
1. The Chilli Cook-off of Doom

Tatsumi stepped onto the stage dressed in his not so typical not so conservative cowboy gear complete with a a hat, chaps, spurs, and a gun. "welcome to the first annual shinigami chili cook-off spectacular!" He said with a smile, while the others groaned. "Tell me again ... why are we having a chili cook-off?" Hisoka scoffed. Tatsumi answered with a haiku.  
  
"Company morale  
Despair brings sadness to all  
Chili will bring glee"  
  
Hisoka glared at Tatsumi for a few moments than responded, "whatever, I'm going to my room." Hisoka   
was gone before you could say "this is totally pointless." Hisoka walked away. Tatsumi sighed, "What got his panties in a twist?" Hisoka, from quite a distance away yelled, "I heard that!" and proceeded to summon A GIANT INTIMIDATING FISH CREATURE! This suprised everyone; we all know that Hisoka cannot summon fish! He's not bleeding Aquaman!  
Tsuzuki was puzzled, "Hisoka...how are you summoning fish?" Hisoka said with a laugh, "Last night, after I has tuckered you out... I stole your magic undescribable summoning thinggy!" The audience gasped. "You stole my indescribable?! You NINNY!!" Tsuzuki cried. "Ninny?!" The crowd absolutely appalled that ANYONE would call ANYONE ELSE a ninny!  
"Shut-up you deep fried bon-bon!", Hisoka screamed, "Attack!!!" and the giant monster fish charged the festival. Tatsumi cried, "horrible dialogue and a monster fish! My chili cook-off shall be ruined!" Tatsumi fainted and fell gracelessly into Watari's arms. Tsuzuki pouts, "I want my undescribable summoning thing..." and then sat down. Hisoka had to be stopped. Watari, getting very tired of this bad plotline, pulled out his newest creation.. BIGGER THAN THE MONSTER FISH JASON-KUN. "Jason-kun! Get to work!" Watari yelled, and the little robot dilley proceeded to slice the fish into pieces. Hisoka pouted, "I will get you.." Watari quickly added the fish slices into the chili. "Here, my young friend, eat some chili and be at peace." Watari smiled. Hisoka took the chili and ate, and after finishing his bowl he subtly added, "Wanna go have some sex?" This suprised everyone, but due to the fact that they were all pretty slutty they decided that it would be for the best.   
  
The sex was, as usual, great. Everyone joined in, even little Watson. Tsuzuki began to wonder, "I wonder..." he asked, "why did Hisoka become more whoreish than usual?" Watari giggled and explained, "Well.. everyone knows that GuShoShin and giant fish monster chili makes a great aphrodisiac. It was, of course, a part of out master plan..."  
  
The End? No. 


	2. The Recipe for Love

~Flashback~  
  
Tatsumi and Watari were in the middle of their usual Friday night slumber party. Tatsumi had just finished putting Watari's hair up into a tight French Twist, when Watari had a brilliant idea. "Hey Tatsumi! Let's see what Hisoka doing on his overly priced web cam!" Watari suggested, as he boot up his computer. Tatsumi pondered, "Is his new domain up and running already?" Watari answered, "Yeppers." He entered Hisoka URL, www.Hisoka4U.net, and reached the main warning page. "Warning: Only enter if you are 18 or above." The two struggled to hold back their laughter, and proceeded to ogle at the boy. "Dude, Hisoka is such a whore." Tatsumi said. "Yeah, but I sure would like to tap that ass." Watari replied. At that moment Tatsumi was struck by a very evil, and not at all nice, but quite enthralling idea. "Ouch, something hit me." Tatsumi stated. "It must have been a very evil, and not at all nice idea! Please, let me in on it!" Tatsumi nodded. "First off we need..." Tatsumi began to whisper incoherently.  
  
The two villains tiptoed through the halls. Tatsumi stopped. "Stop, This is where phase one takes place." They slowly opened the door. Tsuzuki was lying on his bed, drunk out of his mind, and completely unable to defend himself. "Ok, sneak over there and grab his magical monster summoning henshin stick." Tatsumi ordered. Watari sneaked over, and took the stick off of the dresser. "Ok, now what?" Watari asked. Tatsumi answered, "We begin phase two."  
  
Hisoka was sitting under a tree quietly reading a book. The dastardly duo casually approached him. "Hey, Hisoka." Tatsumi said. "Hello". "Hi, Hisoka." Watari says. "Hi." Hisoka answers. Tatsumi spoke, "Watari and I have noticed that Tsuzuki always seems to be on top... is he really that much more powerful than you?" This bothered Hisoka. "No, he's not always on top, and I'm much more powerful than him..." Hisoka replied. Watari responded, "Sure you are... and I'm Queen Elizabeth." Tatsumi added, "how would you like to have the power to prove your dominance over Tsuzuki?" Hisoka replied, "I'd like it very much, but how?" Tatsumi smiled, and revealed Tsuzuki's henshin stick. "With this." He said as he handed it over to Hisoka. "Gasp! Tsuzuki magical-monster- summoning-henshin-stick-that-is- never-shown-but-is-actually-the-source- of-all-of-his-power!" Hisoka takes the stick, and plots his revolution. "Thank you, I'll put this to use." Hisoka said, and than quickly walked away. Tatsumi and Watari smile, everything is going according to plan.  
  
It was now time for phase three. "What's phase three?" Watari asked. "It's the third in a sequence of phases." Tatsumi replies. Watari wasn't amused. "Just tell me what we're doing," he said. "We're now going to catch a pair of GuShoShin." Tatsumi answered. "Why?" Watari asked. "To put in the chili, of course." Tatsumi replied, and they went off to the GuShoShin breeding grounds.  
  
Tatsumi pulled out his pokedex, and punched some buttons. "The GuShoShin breeding ground is a large, wooded area where GuShoShin go to mate." The pokedex buzzed. Tatsumi closes his dex, but before he could act he noticed movement in the bushes. Watari began to move, but Tatsumi stopped him. They waited for a few moments until a wild GuShoShin emerged from behind the bush.  
  
"MAA! ...MAA?" it cried. "There it is!" Whispered Tatsumi, now I just need to weaken it, so that it can be captured. Tatsumi yelled, "Watari! I choose you!" and Watari leapt onto the battlefield ready to fight. "Watari! Use your scientist cannon!" Watari blasked the GuShoShin with the cannon, and the little creature fell. "Good job Watari!" Tatsumi yelled, while capturing the GuShoShin in a little pokeball. Watari wondered, "Now, Tatsumi, what do we do with the GuShoShin?" and Tatsumi answered, "We make chili outta him, and then feed it to Hisoka, so we can get some tail." A large smile formed over Watari's girlish face, as he imagined the fun that was in store.  
  
End of part 2 


End file.
